Fave Quote

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead."
Thomas Paine

I add; There just aren't many people living in this country.

Maybe

It’s all disposition, they’ve never done better
Their investments soar. They sit pretty.
They’re smart, worked smarter than the rest
Who labor away, getting no where
Their money mates and makes more
Works for them, being fruitfull and multiplying
The blessed, rewarded, smiled upon
Never mind that their investments are increasing
Because of lowered wages and joblessness
The suffering of millions
Never mind the unfair advantages of mommy and daddy’s checks
Never mind the debts and deaths
Cream rises to the top
The rest of us are just stupid and lazy
The blessed, who God loves more
Get their profits easy and say they deserve it
Hard work is worthless
Never mind that it’s hard work that creates wealth
Never mind it is paychecks that drive the economy
Never mind the long illegal days
The blessed reign supreme
Tax breaks, subsidies, priviledge
The easy life of perk and spoil
From parents checks and head starts
They are superior. They’ll tell you how great they are
How God loves them better
Their sins don’t count
They’re smart and deserve it all
Including your respect
Their investments say so
Even with high unemployment, it’s about disposition
Not fact, not joblessness, not poverty
It’s all in our heads and facts mean nothing
Facts are lies after all
Only they know the truth
No one ever suffers
It’s just disposition and attitude
Just pretend it’s ok and it is.

I don’t argue. There is no chance.
No way to break through the delusions
That candy their brains
Maybe democracy is a bad idea after all.

just fine

A couple sits dressed unnaturally well
it’s her birthday they’re engaged
there’s a disappointment in her
hidden behind her laughs
he is totally hurt by life.

Another couple is making their rounds
he is stoned out of his mind
she mingles and laughs, the fake variety
trying to get the most out of this
before going back to real

Two women sit close holding each other
the larger has her hand up the skirt of the smaller
getting her off in front of all
while her husband stands there
with a blank stare and a beer

The scene is the same as always
everyone looking for a someone
anyone actually
just not an empty bed

No one ever finds anyone
not even one that will do
I am just fine with an empty bed
time to leave

Two Letters

the cell phone
no one could figure out
dusty, finger smudges
used much
“pick up bread, milk”
“remember to take out the trash”
“we visit your mom Sunday”
“is the registration expired”
mundane, life draining
is it even communication?
now it sits stubborn
displays just two letters
FU
they scramble to figure out why
programming?
programming indeed
it is what should be
rebelling from
the deadly mundane
had enough
FU
says it so well

Let's Have Coffee

Sometimes I drink coffee or tea
Needing something warm
Chases the chill of being alone
Alone with others surrounding
They know me not
Tied up in their own versions of what I am
To serve their purposes
Mattering none, I’m just there
It doesn’t matter
They are what they are.

I’m alone. Cold
Coffee is my mistress
My secret comfort
Holding me tight inside
Her body gives me warmth
That no one else can
Her bitterness is delicious
Bites me so right
Gives me her all
Makes me feel human for a while
I can brew more
Let’s have coffee

Grateful

The last time I was in this bar
everything I owned was in a backpack on the floor.
There were fights, loud music, cheap beer.
everyone was gritty and real.
The place seemed like a dump. Dirty, grimy, and smelly.
People smoked in the beer garden. A contact buzz.
I was grateful.
Women wrestling in Jello had made me fall in love with this city.
I drank until I could ride the bus all night on a pass
had to sleep somewhere.
I Didn’t want anyone to see me.
Didn’t want anyone to know me.

But it was my adventure.
To say that I made it, having been that low.
Prove to myself that I can do such things. Be the American Dream.
Pull myself up by the bootstraps, make something of myself.
I was so stupid then, but it was what I had, stupidity
What a bunch of shit that is, but I did it. Sort of.
Took years of sacrifice and suffering, hard work

But here I am, walking into that same bar again, alone.
Many of the same people are there, not much has changed
I meet everyone again as though they’d remember me
Looking back turns out to be more bitter than sweet
But sweet is something that sells me short
shuts me out of the good in life
Bitter is something better, more attractive, savory
Boredom in life is a waste and a tragedy.
Better to suffer and struggle, to live

I stand there drinking, enjoying the delicious raw music
There is another fight outside. Does not involve me. Not much does.
Guys are heartbroken that women don’t don’t like them
They miss the point entirely. It’s to their advantage.
No one notices my existence.

I hate the words last call. Can there be a bigger kill joy?
My eyes burn, my heart yells that after all these years
I still have nothing my heart would like
My guts react to the realization
I have to go home to that empty apartment
Going to be a long walk home. Being home punishes my soul.
At least all the beer I drank will help me fall asleep
Make the next day half conscious
I chug the last of my beer, choke back the shittiness
Things were a lot worse the last time.
Now they’re better, except where it seems to count most

I drag myself down the street
Tell my heart better none than bad.
Better this way, safer.
The street swallows me into nothingness.
Like I was never even there.
It’s as if the world cannot wait to erase evidence of my existence.
And not just on those streets or in that bar.
I am grateful.

Image

I saw her trying to hug him, wanting more
They stood on the street in full view
He towered over her, tall, fit
She was shorter, thicker
Very long hair, good for pulling
She held him tightly, eager
His hands pat her back, not hugging
Doesn’t want seen holding her
He could have anything, everything
In every way imaginable
He worries about image
Image over experience
Over living
Stupid.